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These are just snippets as I try to expand my writing. And just pieces I wrote for fun that I enjoy.
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These are just snippets as I try to expand my writing. And just pieces I wrote for fun that I enjoy.
I can't understand you–even if I could, I wouldn't want to. To understand you would be to understand the workings of a false prophet. You want me to follow you, blindingly. I can't give that to you. I can't give you my devotion when all that I have for you is far from love. We're not the same, and if we are then that is my biggest shame. You make the world seem duller than it is, you fake your niceties. I'm afraid of you. You're the unbeatable monster that appears in my venture.
My utter being is the thing you hate most; I represent what you hate. I represent what you despise, what you wish pain upon, I represent your other who was unfaithful to the bible and its ground.
When you come around, I find myself staying five feet apart. I don't want us to be confused for being together. I don't want people to know you bore me. We stand near each other but never with each other. When we are I hope you know that physically we are bound but mentally I am otherworldly.
Forgiveness is easier said than done, and I hope the good lord understands that. I cannot forgive you; I will not forgive you. To forgive you would be to feel nothing towards you at all, usually, I wouldn't mind that but sadly I am a fool. I am a fool of the laws of emotion. The little unknowing person inside of my heart still feels something for you and as badly as I want to–I cannot take that away from them. I've taken too much already.
I've torn myself apart to be nothing like my fate. But like every myth, story, and lifeline–I am rendered less against it. The fates have my life in their hands, and it feels painfully similar to my supposed nurturers.